Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Must. Get. Sleep.

Preface:  This post is a bit of a downer and admittedly a bit defensive.  I promise the next one will be more sunshine and rainbows. 


I have officially reached the end of my rope and I don’t know what to do anymore. Max has gone from 4-6 hour sleep stretches to 1-2 hour stretches, both day and night.  He only naps 3 hours during the day no matter how many times we try putting him down or coaxing him back to sleep.  I absolutely cannot function like this much longer. It’s one thing when after the 5AM feeding I can go back to bed for short stretches and can veg a bit during his short daytime naps.  However, now I’m up at 5:45 and during the day I have to be perky, cheerful and on my best behavior.  That’s too bad because my lack of sleep is making me want to tell perfectly nice people where to shove it. It’s not really the impression I want to make on my first week back on the job.

I’ve received all sorts of unsolicited medical diagnosis’s including apnea, reflux, and colic. I know none of those are the issue. I’ve run the gamut of food elimination to rule out allergies and my pediatrician says Max is fine expect for the lack of sleep.  I’ve tried the tips and tricks from No Cry Sleep Solution and it helped at first but now even those are failing me.  The book promises that if I stick with it things will get better, but over the past 10 days things have started really unraveling.

Tonight starts a new strategy that will have LLL members and lactation consultants around the world screaming "Nooooooo!".  I'm supplementing with formula.  Yes, I'm a terrible mother.  Sue me. I refuse to feel guilty about it.  Regular pumping has shown I'm obviously not producing enough milk, even after a week on fennugreek.  I'm not going to go on about it but Max has made it clear he isn't getting enough from me.  Perhaps some formula mixed with breastmilk will help kiddo stay full enough to not wake every 60-120 minutes starving and pissed.

So, lets hope this new strategy will bring both Max and I a little peace.  We both need a bit more shut eye.

6 comments:

Katie said...

I dont know how you would function either, and I think you are making the BEST, most sensible solution for the both of you. I hope it works! It took Brendan awhile to sleep longer with the formula mixed in at night, but eventually he got it (and we kept adding more and more and more...)

LeeAnne said...

DON'T beat yourself up about that...the most important thing is that baby is nourished and Mommy maintains some form of sanity. You can't take care of Max if you don't take care of yourself. (I had lots of trouble breast feeding and I took enough fennugreek that my neighbors could smell pancakes!) About the sleep thing, just know it is likely just a phase that will pass. Collin was an awesome sleeper and Emie STILL isn't. Your body will adjust.

Alison said...

As the saying goes "babies don't come with instruction books" parenthood is all about trial and error. Every child is going to be different so what works for one might not work for another. You have to do what's best for you and your baby, and not what everyone else thinks is best. Like you said before - you need to trust your gut! The health and wellbeing of both you and your baby are your first priority, and whatever you need to do to accomplish that is what you need to do. Let me know if you need anything at all, maybe Max could use another "talking to" from Uncle Mike:)

Jenny said...

I've always said the biggest mistake breastfeeding mothers make is thinking it has to be all or nothing. Max will be fine! And you'll be WONDERFUL with all that extra sleep. Great decision especially since you're working a bit now. Can't wait to hear how the first night with a full belly goes!

Laura @ The Things I Said I'd Never Do said...

Thanks for the support everyone. Leeanne, your comment made me laugh out loud because I associate the smell of pancakes with the first stressful weeks of parenthood. Breastfeeding RUINED pancakes for me!!

Angelia Sims said...

Your sanity is more important and he won't know the difference. I hope it gives a full happy belly and he gets very, very sleepy.

You are being a GREAT mom by helping him as much as you can be comfortable.

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