Monday, October 11, 2010

I Just Want My Jeans to Fit.

I've never been thin.  I've always been self-conscious and I've spent most of my adult life shopping in the "plus sized" section of the store. I like food.  I like wine.  I am the classic example of an emotional eater. The only thing that has kept me on the smaller end of the plus sized scale is that I actually enjoy exercise.

While it can be a struggle to get going there is something so freeing about putting on my favorite guilty pleasure songs (I'm looking at you Ke$ha) and working up a sweat.  I feel better when I exercise even if I'm not losing weight.  It gives me energy,it makes me feel good about myself and it helps me sleep at night.

However, with a new baby, exercise has been on the back burner.  Even when I was at my largest and most uncomfortable during pregnancy, I still managed to slowly waddle around the block for 30 minutes just to keep going.  I felt so much better than many of my other pregnant friends and I attribute that to daily work outs during my pregnancy.  Also, and don't hate me here, exercise was in the key factor in the scale reading the same number the day I got home from the hospital as it did the day I found out I was pregnant.

I was so proud of myself when I realized I didn't gain any baby weight.  I promised myself I would stay at or below that number on the scale.  I would make exercise a priority and I would continue to eat as healthy as I did during pregnancy.

Yeah.  Not so much.

In 6 months I've managed to gain an embarrassing amount of weight. I feel terrible.  I don't feel sexy.  My stomach, while never flat, feels flabby and stretched out.  Nothing fits anymore. I feel all around uncomfortable.

And dammit, I refuse to let this continue. I despise feeling this way and I don't feel like I'm being a good example to my son.

So I'm making changes.

A new Weight Watchers session starts at work in 2 weeks and I plan to join.  I've blown the dust off my shoes and the jogiing stroller and started the Couch to 5K program. I'm packing my gym clothes and going right after work not feeling guilty leaving Max in day care a little longer.  On my days off I'm packing up Max and hitting the pavement as soon as he wakes up.  I'm not using motherhood as an excuse for weight gain.

How do you fit in exercise on your busy day? What tips do you have for falling into "all mommy, no me" trap?

Hello Old Friends

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